tylers_abyss

Yes, I do.

Yes, it's incredibly emotionally un-healthy. I can only keep tabs on one of them, because the other one's a total security Nazi when it comes to his internet stuff. He had a LiveJournal once, and it was because *I* set it up for him. He hasn't posted in it since we broke up, which I'm sure is a good thing just because I'd torture myself by reading the terrible, terrible things he'd say about me. Over and over. And let myself sink into the falsified reality that he left me because I wasn't a hot Asian chick like the one he moved on to.

Like I do with the one who's too dumb to security-lock his Facebook. I read all about how his ex-girlfriend's a psychopath who only brought him down and he's so lucky to be with this angel in comparison. ... well, the exact phrase he used was "land mine", not psychopath, but you get the gist I'd imagine. I sure did.

Why do I do it? I don't know. I feel bad, I guess. The two of them run in opposite directions at the sight of me (one slams a closet door in my face, the other, an exterior door), and the only thing I got out of the last one, I got out of him while he was drunk. And he totally denies it ever happened. He did start the conversation though, and it led me to believe there was something good in there to talk to. But, like I said, it "never happened" and he "doesn't know what I'm talking about".

Mostly it's painful, but sometimes it's amusing. I don't do it a lot... but just enough to drive myself a little bit crazy. I don't recommend it, I even tell other people not to do it. All it does is make you wonder where you went wrong. You totally forget what a total jerk they were when they broke it off, because they're not being a jerk on their public page. It just screws you up. But it's alluring. I guess you hope that they feel the same way that you do, but they never do. So, it's stupid, don't do it.

It's a huge long shot, but if any of you downloaded my Daniel Jackson video called "10,000 Miles" by Mary Chapin Carpenter, I need a copy.

I lost my server and my files off of my computer last year, and I apparently missed that one in my recovery. Now there's a broken link and since I lost all of my Stargate files back in college in 2005, I can't remake it.

The file name is 10000.wmv, it's a small file just over five minutes long.

I'm looking at you Fel, lol.

*begs/hopes*

Yeah, after getting the "get the fuck out" talk from Mom again, I've decided I'm going to skip off to Corner Brook in the a.s.a.p. kind of way.

And have decided that anything I leave here will be burned by my parents in my absence for 'space'.

So, most of you have a few clues as to what I own... a hundred odd ty beanie babies, a hundred odd DVDs, a Sunburst Raptor electric guitar with amp and stuff... Happy Bunny signbook...

Or you know, ask me if I have something and I probably do.

Most of it's probably going to end up burned, but if there's anything you want, let me know.

Donations welcome and all that shit.

*has a shower, fully expecting to be asked for water payment afterwards*

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

From the plaque as you enter the Beaumont Hamel Memorial:

Tread softly here! Go reverently and slow!
You let your soul go down upon its knees
And with bowed head, and heart abased strive hard
To grasp the future gain in the sore loss!
For not one foot of this dank sod but drank
Its surfeit of the blood of gallant men.
Who for their faith their hope - for life and liberty
Here made the sacrifice - here gave their lives
And gave right willingly - for you and me.

From this vast altar-pile the souls of men
Sped up to God in countless multitudes.
On this grim cratered ridge they gave their all.
And giving won.
The peace of Heaven and immortality
Our hearts go out to them in boundless gratitude.
If ours - then God's for His vast charity
All sees, all knows, all comprehends - save bounds
He has repaid their sacrifice - and we - ?
God help us if we fail to pay our debt
In fullest full and all unstintingly!

( Beaumont Hamel Memorial and longer story )

The blurb for those who don't want to read the whole thing:

On July 1, in broad daylight, one hundred thousand men climbed out of their trenches and advanced shoulder to shoulder across the crater-torn waste of No Man's Land. At Beaumont Hamel, the Newfoundland Regiment was virtually annihilated. In less than half an hour, as they advanced into point-blank fire, the Islanders were cut down. Of the 801 men who went into the battle only sixty-eight unwounded men answered the roll call the next day.

( Photos of the memorial )

So... Yeah. I'm off to search for a poppy.

What is with these pompous stars suddenly deciding that Canada is evil? PISS OFF! The seal hunt is FINE, it's been fully checked out by people with actual TRAINING and EDUCATION and it's been CLEARED. You and your delicate sensibilities can sit on your fingers and rotate in your giant-ass mansions and let the poor sealers make a year what you spend in a day. For a a barbarian industry that's quote "just for the money", there really isn't that much in the industry. But people need this TINY BIT to SURVIVE.

You hate it so damn much, don't boycott the damned country, PAY FOR IT YOURSELVES! If it's 'all about profit' for the poor fisherman, YOU give them some other way to make the money. Don't tell US it's OUR job to change OUR lives to make YOU feel better.

Go protect the chickens or something, you assholes.

Greenpeace-- you too. I know you're funding terrorists. You piss off too, and stop recruiting dumbass stars to make your propaganda seem more valid.

Protesting "Stars"-- use some of your mounds of money to get a lobotomy. Or pay the sealers to not seal, your choice.

Richard Dean Anderson-- I know you were there too, a while back. The fact that I didn't hear a word from you while there, or one on the subject afterwards, makes me believe that you realised that you were being used, unlike these tools. I hope this is the case, and if it isn't, I know you're a very smart and reasonable man and will listen to what people close to this have to say, which would be refreshing on this subject. I fully respect that you and your affiliation with the Sea Shepherd Society wanted to check it out, and I give you a resounding thanks for not doing what a lot of other people in your position are.

To the people-- These rich idiots are boycotting the working man so that they can feel better about themselves while sitting in their mansions on leather Lazy-Boys. Though Canada's economy will survive, I have no doubt that more than a few people are going to go bankrupt over this BS. I plead you, don't listen to this crap. Canada's done nothing to harm you. And if you feel as strongly about this as I do, join me in boycotting everything to do with the protesters. It *will* make a difference if enough people do it. Write letters if you can. I don't care, just... don't believe them. That'll do.

You are misinformed tools.

Firstly, the seal hunt isn't inhumane. I know with your massive international star status, you know more about animal cruelty than the World Wildlife Foundation, but-- no, WAIT, you don't.

Secondly, baby seals have been illegal to kill since the 1970s. So maybe you're fooling your little viewers with the flash of white ball of fluff then switch to old footage of sealers clubbing adult seals. Blah, blah, blah, baby seals clubbed to death before swimming? Bull shit. Not a single baby seal is clubbed, get over your pity parade.

Third, 90% of seals aren't even clubbed, they're shot.

Fourth, how about you look at the children fighting wars all over the world as a pet cause of human cruelty instead of seals.

And fifth, how the HELL are 5.8 million seals not going to affect the cod fishery at all?!

Sixth and this is final even though I could go on: Prince Edward Island is NOT Newfoundland. When the Larry King Live blurb says "Sir Paul from Charlottetown, PEI and you follow Danny Williams' invite to come learn what the hell you're talking about with, "I decline your invitation because I'm in Newfoundland now." Oh, yes, way to go.

I hate you so much right now.

I took a picture of this yesterday because there's one on the outer door of every res floor. If you can't read it all (which I'm sure you can't) the messages posted around are about not having sex while drunk, and the one in the bottom centre is instructions on how to properly put a condom on. So, basically, it's a "Happy Valentine's, Have Sex While Sober" poster. Though "Happy Valentine's" is uber drowned out.

It's huge, I'm sorry, it's because I wanted you guys to be able to read it as much as possible.

( Read more... )

It's really freaking stupid if you ask me, but no one on res council ever does...

WENDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dances*

JOE FLANIGAN AUTOGRAPH!

Oooh, I feel less shitacular now. HEE! I'm trying to dim down my excitement here... OMG!

PICTURE, I haves to take a picture... *hee*

Oooh, if my day hadn't gone so badly already this'd be on my top ten of days... *represses squee*

I'm going to go call Nan now cos it's her birthday.

[Feeling kind of...| chipper]
[Thematic Soundtrack| Friends - John Michael Montgomery]




Got an 81 on my anthro midterm... and another eye ache, I don't know what's up with this thing.

AMY! Anything grocery-wise you want me to have for when you get here? I'm going out later, but I can go out later in the week too, but I'd like to go by Wednesday... I already picked up some Pineapple Crush, lol.

Um... According to TheWeatherNetwork, it's been blizzarding all day. *looks outside* Jonas Quinn is less than impressed, guys. Light flurries, maybe. You lose points in my book now. And Jonas will have to be consoled by eating all of my bananas... and no, I'm not being analygous to Steve, though he found that superbly amusing and laughed at me and said, "I'm your Jonas!" Noooooo, Jonas is Tyler's Steve, not vise versa! *is really embarrassed* It's okay, I shocked Steve today enough so that maybe he won't laugh at me more when he reads this entry. It's funny, he purposely causes static by running his hands through my hair and then tries to shock me. Because if you've ever kissed a static shock, it hurts. I grounded him, but oh no, he wanted to experiment some more... so when he was reaching slowly for my nose, I jabbed him in the stomach and pre-shocked him. Heh.

Mandy's trying to take care of me, lol. I just thought I'd drop that in there because I'm such a bad sister. :p

I don't remember if I told Alex I got her Christmas present or not... Aaah, I'm so stressed. If I didn't, it's awesome, and I love it, and it's a little taste of well-needed pretty when it comes to my haphazard room of computer printouts of guys I'm not really interested in anymore, lol. Well, I suppose they're okay to look at. There's one just over my desk that's more fun to look at... heh, and do things to. Anyway, Alex made and sent me this awesome cross-stitch flower and it's in a cute little frame and I love it. *nods*

Ummers... I needed more sleep this morning so I took a power nap... Made it through Anthro awake... Emke talked about the bonuses of death, and one was religion. Steve said, "Yeah, because eternal life wouldn't be that great of an aspiration if you were immortal." I turned to him and said, "And if there was no death, then how could Jesus have died?" He hadn't thought of that apparently. Hooray, we'd all go to hell. Pineapple time!

Now... I need to go get Valentine's Day candy to give to people tomorrow. The problem is that it's sooooooooo expensive at Sobey's. I could try More For Less I suppose... Other than that, I'm making a trip out to Dominion. Or maybe I'll go this afternoon. I don't know. What I *really* want to do is start and finish my English paper so I won't have to do it while Amy's here. Because I'll have to study for my theatre history midterm while Amy's here, and that's bad enough. Plus my ethnography assignment... lighting assignment... Ooch. Um, Amy, my room's going to have to stay the clean it is for when you get here because I don't have time for much else. Especially since Steve informed me that studying is the only way I'll get better than an eighty. Which he still meant but half retracted when I got upset and told him that all I do besides study and the necessities is see him.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Jay came up and berated me for not having a Valentine's box on my door last night because he was giving out suckers and I missed out. So, I went to the lounge and made the crappiest Valentine's box ever and wrote "A Box to Appease Jay" on the top of it and stuck it on my door. He came back and put a sucker in it. :p I also wrote "Kelly's box: Steve knows it" on the front but no one mentioned that part, heh, I'm so bad.

Okies... I have a really bad headache. Advil... then *maybe* a nap, and then I'm going to rape either the English assignment or the sound assignment... Probably English. I just have to flip through the play and I'll cheap out and do the creative writing assignment because I can run that off in about an hour and still do well. Not Steve well, but Kelly well.

I have rehearsal tomorrow night but only for about an hour cos it's Valentine's Day and people have dates. Jess was talking about how she's alone, and I said, "I wish I had a date" which was construed poorly by Steve who said, "Ohhhh." and hung his head. I was speaking in a joking tone for Jess, not me. I have a date for every night, heh heh heh.

... I just got really excited for a second because it looked like maybe it was actually starting to be a blizzard. Nope, false alarm, blowing snow from the roof. Oh. Dammit. Oh well. *dances off to get an Advil and make other decisions*

OH, AMY, Elise says hi back! ^^

[Feeling kind of...| artistic]
[Thematic Soundtrack| Runaway - Bon Jovi]



Okay, so... rehearsal hurt. I'm the only girl who can bend over backwards... (it's me and Donovan, lol, bending over backwards for people must be a Purcell thing) the problem is that the only time I've done it before WAS last night, and therefore I have wanged my head off of the carpeted concrete at least five times. If that doesn't put the fear in you, I don't know what does. I was nauseous too, so... collapsing may have happened. No, I didn't have a concussion. I didn't hit *that* hard, just enough to give me a headache and make me wonder what moves I had just learned. *shrug* Anyway, as I continually volunteer/fit the criteria, my part gets ever so bigger. I'm now one of the first three onstage. And the only one who bends over backwards. I need to practice that...

I also skinned my knees and right elbow... Also went to the information session for the Canadian Forces. Apparently, just as theatre students aren't allowed to be RAs, we're not allowed in the Reserves either. I've had crew call every Thursday night this semester that there WAS crew call, so "Thursdays and weekends" is a BITCH. Especially since my crew calls next year are four times a week.

Speaking of crew call, I did that Monday night. I VOLUNTEERED for crew call so that it wouldn't interfere with my rehearsals, which are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I have crew call Thursday. I am minorly irritated. I mean, yes, I enjoyed hanging shinies, but I expected to have four hours of my life gone, not eight. Thanks a billion Roy, please, no, DON'T tell Jim to leave us off crew call. I say us, because Jason did it too and HE had crew call LAST night. Holy hell.

Anyway, yes, the owwies... I went to bed after leaving sound class... When I got back to this room, the smell of gravy made me run straight for the bathroom (which, as you remember, is pretty much next to the door anyway...). In the end, I had to throw the stuff out without breathing too much, or I'd have lost my breakfast. Then the *taste* of the Gravol pill made me gag. The pill stayed down, but most of the water chasing it didn't. I wasn't pleased. But I heard from Alex for the first time in months, so that was good. :-) So, the Gravol took care of the nausea... but don't worry, my body made up for it with a random assortment of other sicknesses. I'm serious-- I got sick twice after. I'm sick now, though not with nausea. Sick two times over, if we're going to count the reason why today isn't going to be as fun.

Who cares though, am I right? The sun is shining-- wait, no, it's not, it's kinda snowing... But it's only -6!

Um, listening to Bon Jovi, that makes me happy... Speaking of, WHO prices their damned merch??? 115.00 for a SWEATER??? Hello?! I don't want to know how much a concert ticket is... *shudders*

WOO, Amy's online! Okay, um... Steve's got his physical/medical testing today, so... *uber-luck vibes* I love you, and I know you can do it (just like everything else, except of course for things involving pens :p~~~~~~~~) Kidding. *hugs*

Ummers... OOH, Jason says if he makes it to ComicCon, he'll endeavour to get me a Bruce Campbell autograph. *squeefests* And yes, I relent Steve, I think you may be right about him... Not in the confused way, but in the me way. *quivers and hides*

... Which strangely reminded me of Aura. (cos the last time I quivered and hid it was from her screaming in my ear) She needs to stop saying we're cute. I'm enjoying my quiet happy and I hear giggling and suddenly Trev slams the door in my face. I say my face, as it was Steve's back. Trev needs to stop slamming things and ruining the mood. *snick* Yes, forget Aura, I blame Trev. Heh, Trev... he said he'll keep slamming things for the reason I want him not to, so here's a general apology to Meagan for next time... *cough*

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *is happy*

SIXTEEN DAYS TILL AMY GETS HERE! *bounces*

... my leg is randomly cut... um...kay... Ten minutes till anthro! *bounces idly*

[Feeling kind of...| surprised]
[Thematic Soundtrack| Incomplete - Backstreet Boys]




From Yahoo! News

Thousands without power in N.S., after region pummelled with snow, wind



HALIFAX (CP) - Tens of thousands of Nova Scotia Power customers awoke to no electricity today after a major winter storm ripped through the region.


The utility says power was restored to thousands of customers overnight, but trees weighted down by heavy snow continue to wreak havoc on power lines.

The hardest hit areas are in central Nova Scotia and along the west and south shores.

Environment Canada says as much as 42 centimetres of snow fell in some parts of the region, while winds gusted to 90 kilometres an hour along the coast.

RCMP reported dozens of fender benders along slippery roads, while snow-covered runways at the Halifax International Airport delayed flights in and out of the area.

The storm system, which also brought some snow to eastern Prince Edward Island and southeastern New Brunswick, is expected to bring similar conditions to southeast Newfoundland today.

Nova Scotia is bracing for another storm system, which is expected to bring between 20 and 30 millimetres of rain.

---

Ooch. Um... Yeah... about the Corner Brook snow... We didn't get that much. Do you know what? It seems that every time there's a major Atlantic storm system, it crashes into Nova Scotia (usually Halifax), then steams on to Newfoundland, where it's pretty much nothing. Trev calls Nova Scotia "our storm buffer". *ahem*

Hope all's well... I'm... going to call Mom.

For the summary of my day: SQUEE. Lots of squee. I'll write it later cos I'm tired. And now, for this:


You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who is surprised? No one.

And if you *are* surprised, please note that it says 'near' the sea, not 'on' the sea. Freaking boats... *shudders*


On that note, adieu, and good luck to everyone on their exams.

[Feeling kind of...| awake]
[Thematic Soundtrack| Breathing - Lifehouse]




Thingy from alphekka_alpha, which I know I've done before, but I know also that I've changed.

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #3 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #4 Match: INTJ

The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

[Feeling kind of...| impressed]
[Thematic Soundtrack| Story of My Life - Bon Jovi]

Outcast Genius 60 % Nerd, 78% Geek, 69% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius. Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject). Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius. Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 72% on nerdiness You scored higher than 97% on geekosity You scored higher than 98% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

( And a Lover test for Kila... )

Yeah, OK, this entry sucks but I'm at Stephen's and over an hour's drive separated from my Photoshop...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORIN!

... I gotta run before ... too late. *flees*